Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Nursery Rhymes

"Mommy's having a baby. Daddy's going crazy. If it's a girl, I'll give her a curl. If it's a boy, I'll give him a toy. If it's twins..."

They're not twins. I was a little disappointed, because I started to settle on the idea of two. Two cribs. Two names. Having to go through labor only two more times. Babes and I carrying each child in our carrer. The novelty of having twins. Then the disappointment wore off as I thought of two crying babies. A drastic lifestyle change. God knew best and he knows what Babes and I can handle.

"So, it's definitely one." I asked, while the doctor did the ultrasound.

"Yes, there's definitely one."

All week Garfield and I anxiously waited for the results. If there were twins, we'll have to get a minivan. If there were twins we would have to sell more chicken wings. We were quite certain they were twins, being that they run in my family, but were a bit relieved that we can ease our way into parenthood without extremity.

After getting the news and seeing how big the baby had gotten (he/she is now a pea size and the sak grew from 5mm to 16mm). We got some ice-cream from Dairy Queen. I didn't want to go straight back to work, but wanted to live in the moment with the person who had as much to do with this pregnancy, as myself.

"So, what do you think? Are you disappointed?"

"Nah suh." Garfield said licking his chocolate dipped ice-cream. "At least there's one."

"Yeah, you're right."

Husband, wife, and child makes three.

Next week we were going to look for the heartbeat. I'm elated. I'm excited to see just how much bigger he has gotten and am secretly waiting for the belly bump to start showing.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007


I just couldn't make it to work. Maternity leave should really start in the first trimester. Besides, pregnancy is too unpredictable for employers to expect you to really perform as if you are not pregnant.

Morning sickness has not been my ailment, rather stomach cramps and fatigue have me working at 50% of my efficiency level. The stomach cramps felt like someone stretching my stomach like Taffy. It hurts and the crazy thing is that no one told me it was going to feel like this. Who knew?

After I called in, I curled up in bed like I was a baby myself. The last thing I remembered was Babes soothing me and then I was out. I woke up at 9:30 A.M. calling out for him. He had already left for the restaurant. I didn't even hear him leave. Was I that tired? I guess I was. I went back to sleep and woke up after noon, now fully rested.

With the remainder of the day ahead of me, what should I do? How I wished I could stay home and just write. I asked God how much longer would I have to pretend to like crunching numbers.

I decided on going to the Rose Garden for a walk. I remembered Babes and I coming there and taking pictures under a ceiling of roses. I considered myelf truly blessed to be so in love with my husband. I pray that we would grow deeper in love as our family grows.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

The Masses

The first couple of days of finding out about my pregnancy, I couldn't help but tell everyone I knew or random people I came into contact. Also, I only wanted Jamaican food. I don't know if it was out of comfort or craving. I think it was more out of comfort than anything else. My parents not being here, yadayadayada. So, when I went to Mama Shirley's restaurant, she was what I needed. You have to dodge bullets to get there and most of the lighbulbs in the restaurant don't work, but the coconut flavored rice and peas reminded me of home.

I sat down to a meal of steak and rice and peas and couldn't help but divulge her in my new suprise. We sat on opposite sides of the table, she being the maternal figure I needed and I being the person to give her valuable information that would spread far and wide. I didn't care, I was pregnant. May have even been pregnant with twins. That alone couldn't be held.

"Garfield waited so long."

I laughed to myself, people always made it seem like Babes was desperate to have children, just because he was thrirty-five. When in actuality, I was the one desiring children. She went on to give me advice.

"Don't drink any soda, yuh hear."

I nodded. I don't drink soda anyway. There will be no loss. She kept on smiling and looking at me. I mentally calculated how long would it take for this news to reach the masses. Seven days probably.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Genesis

I wasn't feeling good. My back started to hurt and I noticed there was something different about my body. I couldn't pinpoint the feeling, because it didn't feel like a cold or flu, but a foreign experience that I tried to understand. When my period didn't come, I wondered, but didn't think much of it until a week later. I went with my gut feeling and decided on going to get a pregnancy test; while casually picking up a pregnancy test. My husband asked me to pick up ice-cream and I needed to pick up pictures; while I was out. What I discovered a half an hour later changed my life and I joined other new moms who chartered on unfamiliar territory.

I'm a newbie when it comes to pregnancy. With all of the strange aches, nausea, drowsiness, insomnia, no book ever gave me the complete run-down. How can they? Everybody's pregnancy will be different. But what I have enjoyed is to listen to other women who've traversed in the land of pregnancy for nine months share their stories. Those have been the most helpful. Pictures, E-P-T, and Ice-Cream is about sharing what I've been thorugh so that you can nod your head and secretly hope your experience might be slightly different (i.e. my three months of morning sickness) or secretly pray that it will be the same (i.e. the blissful second trimester). I'm no doctor...nor a midwife. I'm just one pregnant woman and soon to be mother who wants to share my journey with you. Enjoy the ride. Motherhood is truly an unparalled experience.

The Beginning

I haven't been feeling well for the past two weeks. One day I was walking from the train station and felt so tired. I rembered thinking, "This job thing is for the birds, give me children, so that I can stay home." I also remembered being at church and all of a sudden, I felt the most unmistakable lower back pain. "It must be my period." I rembered thinking. I had to sit down. Just like that, my energy was sapped away and I felt exhausted. After church, Garfield wanted to get desert downstairs. As much as my sweet tooth dictated my decisions, I had no energy to walk downstairs.

We ended up going to a neighborhood Italian restaurant. I ordered a glass of Reisling, thinking that would ease my back pain. It did, albeit temporarily, but after the dinner, I was sore again. I stayed in bed for the next three hours, certain my period would come. It never did.

"I'm going to the drugstore to get a pregnancy test." I suddenly announced the following Sunday night at 9:37P.M. Somwhere in the back of my psyche, I knew something was different. My cycle is sporadic, so not having my period was not alarming. When I was younger, I sometimes get my period six times a year,

"I'm going to pick up some pictures I developed, too!"

"Well, you're going to owe me $20 because I know you're not pregnant."

My husband always has some outlandish comment.

"Why don't you just wait until your knee-surgery on Thursday and we ask them to take a pregnancy test for us?"

I pictured all of the doctors in place, prepared to replace my missing ACL just to discover I'm pregnant. Then, raising their hands in disbelief. They would hate me.

"I can't do that. What if you forget to ask?"

My babes knew that once I made up my mind to do something, I was going to do it. I'm my father's child.

"Well, pick up some ice-cream on your way back." He said resolutely.

It was cool and drizzling outside. I wore my ripped up Express jeans, I've had since freshman year in college.

"I'm picking up a pregnancy test." I said casually to my eldest sister.

"Well, tell me how it works out."

Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't. I had no idea where to find the test. Would it be in the aisle with the contraceptives or with the diapers? It was in the aisle with the diapers. I guess that made sense.

I got my developed pictures. Sweden! Everytime I develop pictures, it's a suprise what it would end up being.

I had the test in my hand . Then, stopped and got Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cokie Dough for me and Haagan Das Vanilla Bean for Garfield. I left everything on the table, while sharing the pictures from my vacation to Sweden. I went on the vacation two months before I got married. It was at the nearing of the closing of the chapter of my single days.

I went to the bathroom and was careful to follow the directions of the test. Point the test downward as you urinate for ten seconds. One. Two. Three. Four. It was positive before I counted to ten. I looked at the plus sign hard. It was what I suspected for the past two weeks. I was indeed pregnant. I didn't know how I felt. I called Garfield and the only words that slipped out of my mouth was, "You're a daddy."